This is How You Take Ownership of Your Sexuality

You may not be having sex or as much sex as you want with your partner during this pandemic.

Maybe—like me—your partner and you are sheltering-in-place in different locations.

You may be single or dating.

All of us, though, can benefit from understanding that beyond the

1. Energy
2. Opportunity

for partnered sex, we need to step into and take ownership of our sexuality.

I work with a lot of clients who are performing for their partners

( including those who identify as male, those who identify as female, those who identify as gender-fluid, and those who identify as non-binary )

and using masturbation to stave off "inappropriate" or unwanted attention.

When we can be open to the idea that sexual energy, sexual expression, desire, and arousal are our own and don't belong to our partner or a relationship, 

we can take self-responsibility for and self-enjoyment in the sensations of pleasure and turn-on that we feel.

Photo by Jake Davies

Here are five steps for taking ownership of your sexuality:

STEP ONE: Relax

Begin by taking some deep breaths in and out of your body.

This supports you to relax and connect with the wisdom of your bodymind that shows up in sensations and imagery.

STEP TWO: Genital Breathing

Breathe in and out of your genitals. 

You might stay playful and curious and open while imaging there are lungs or gills between your legs inviting your genitals to inhale and exhale slowly and deeply.

STEP THREE: Connect

As you breathe, connect to your body's, your sexuality's, and your genitals' desires. 

Listen, notice, and witness this part of you's desires and impulses and whims.

STEP FOUR: Repeat

Do this with your heart around the joy and love and compassion you can notice and witness at the center of your chest.

Shift and explore the clarity and wisdom of your mind as you repeat these steps breathing in and out of the center of your brain as if it has gills. 

STEP FIVE: Acknowledge

Return to a natural and normal breath as you relax your focus. 

Acknowledge the different pieces of you that have different needs and wants.

Consider what you can do around your desires, love, and clarity to support them and express them.


Our culture often hands over the power of expression around our sexuality to our partner and our relationship.

Taking ownership and self-responsibility of your sexuality allows you to decide when you get to express it and with whom and how.

You were born for pleasure.

Sending you so much love,
Daniela

P.S. I still have clearly defined and priced sliding scale rates for sessions.

If you desire support and guidance, my availability is here for a free 20-minute consultation by phone or video.