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4 Questions to Ask to Discover More Pleasure in Your and Your Partner's Bodies
My wish is that you have an amazing, deep, connected, vibrant, expressive sexual connection with yourself and with your partner.
This is my work. This is my offering.
And when the hypocrisy of our cultures and societies oftentimes show up at the intersections of Puritanical, religious views and capitalizing on the selling of youthful sex and honeymoon sex, our bodyminds get confused and freeze.
This is why my work exists.
4 Steps For Setting A Time Container for Getting sexy
When I was pre-orgasmic, I explored so many things wanting to experience orgasm for the first time.
I felt more than broken; I felt like I didn't belong to the human population (enneagram 4).
Ohhhhhhh I read books. I went to six therapists. I watched videos. I bought vibrating toys.
It's when I read Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm that I was first introduced to the concept of a time container.
5 Steps for Coming into Presence and Connection with Your Partner and Loved Ones
"Wait. Wait. Can you say that again?"
I'm in the kitchen, and my youngest who is eight is next to me saying something about turtles and the beach.
A piece of me is replaying a past conversation with someone else as I pour some tea.
I recognize another piece wants to be in the present and connected to what he's sharing with me.
This is How To Invite Heartbrokenness To Teach You
I have been deeply grieving the last several weeks and letting my body show me how to forgive myself and others, how to heal, and how to love.
There's no pushing or forcing, no "should" or "shouldn't."
There's a deep surrender to "This is how I feel right now...This is how it is in this moment."
Which is More Closed Off: Your Heart or Your Sexuality?
For just a moment, close your eyes or let them gently unfocus.
Breathe into your heart.
Is it open?
Can you expand and soften into your heart with some ease?
The Most Difficult Season of Your Relationship Might Need Support
You are not alone.
If this has been the most difficult season your relationship has faced...
If this has been the most difficult chapter of your life...
You are not alone.
This Is How You Move Toward Embodied Self-Love
Something so powerful and deep happened in a coaching session a few weeks ago.
I've been thinking about it and wanting to share it, thinking it might click a few things into place for you, too.
Because most of us...we want to experience love with a partner, with our person.
The idea of self-love can feel so far-fetched and inaccessible because we first experience love in relationship and attachment to our primary caregivers.
How to Not Get Overwhelmed and Numb To It All
I'm not sure where your thoughts or emotions are at right now, friend.
And over the last few days I've been running through a spectrum of grief and hope and despair and anger marked with sparks of action and creativity.
I've also been ruminating around what feminist marketing consultant Kelly Diels (she/her) calls my spot on the wall.
This is How You Love Yourself (and your partner and the collective) in All The Ways
I've been thinking about you.
It's been weeks since I've written, and that doesn't mean I haven't had you on my mind.
I've written drafts around:
Several days ago I threw a glass at the floor and shattered it....
I wasn't angry.
I wasn't triggered.
And several days ago I picked up a glass and shattered it on the floor.
I was frustrated.
I was beyond my capacity.
This is How You Take Ownership of Your Sexuality
You may not be having sex or as much sex as you want with your partner during this pandemic.
Maybe—like me—your partner and you are sheltering-in-place in different locations.
You may be single or dating.
This is How To Give Yourself What You Most Need Right Now
I feel like I'm in the tornado outer funnel right now...
Just hanging on...
And hoping I don't get spit out in a manure patch.
This was shared with me recently, and I thought, That's about right.
This is Why Video Chatting with Your Loved Ones is So Hard
Before all of this happened, my partner and I already had a lot of experience with distance.
Being in an international, long distance relationship is hard.
Closed borders.
She's a frontlines healthcare worker.
I'm a trauma-informed sex and intimacy coach.
Side by Side, Back to Back, This is How You Two Co-Create Your Life Moving Forward
Maybe the two of you have different ideas around what to do with your time.
Maybe the stress is affecting you each differently.
Maybe what you need right now is different.
And...
This is How I Realized My Heart is Numbed
Sometime recently a friend forwarded me a list of journaling prompts, questions to explore and really look at around pandemic, coronavirus, social distancing, COVID-19, shelter-in-place, quarantine, isolation, ventilators, ICU.
I kept her email and every once in awhile would open it up and read through the questions.
Well, actually, I'd read the first prompt and stop.
This is how COVID-19 stress is affecting my relationship. How are you doing in yours?
I'm not proud of it.
In fact I have some shame....
A few days ago I unceremoniously turned my phone on airplane mode for five or so hours.
A part of me knew it would hurt my partner.
What is there really even to say to one another?
I'm feeling the urge to share so many things with you.
And...
I am concurrently holding a piece that's says, "What's the point? Where would I start?"
I'm curious if you're experiencing something similar when you turn to look at your partner at the end of the day...at the end of this unique week.
Does Your Relationship Err on the Side of Caution or Take Risks?
How are you doing?
How are you really doing?
I'm not the type to ask if I didn't really care.
So I honestly invite you to hit reply and share with me what you're really experiencing, really noticing in terms of your sensations, emotions, and thoughts.
This is how I knew my relationship needed to shift....
I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know how to figure out what to do.
I was feeling emotions, sensations...having tons of thoughts.
Everything was spinning and whirling around.
This is Why Unspoken Conversations Linger Between You Two
I'm sorry your partner and you had that same circular argument again that led to...nothing.
I'm sorry you spiraled into that same funk you've been experiencing for years except now it feels...hollow.
It's like the sensations and emotions aren't even fresh anymore.
They're played out.