This is How To Give Yourself What You Most Need Right Now
“I feel like I’m in the tornado outer funnel right now...
Just hanging on...
And hoping I don’t get spit out in a manure patch.”
Hey, there,
This was shared with me recently, and I thought, That's about right.
I experience moments, even hours, and sometimes a full day when I feel like myself.
I am calm, grounded, loved, loving, safe, compassionate.
Then I can see something on a show, someone can say something to me, I can hear a song...
and then I'm inside a terrified, reactive, lashing out piece of me.
It's emotional whiplash not only for me, but for those around me.
I reach out for understanding and compassion within myself and sometimes from those around me to see we're all in this experiencing it in different and similar ways.
Some of us with a great deal more of unearned privilege than others.
Some of us with greater systemic access and support.
We didn't create these systems; we were born into them.
It's time to get on with caring for ourselves and those we love, so we can dismantle what isn't working and reimagine and build what will support and care for every life, every being, every plant, every body of water.
From NOAA at photolib.noaa.gov
Here are five steps to give yourself what you most need right now:
STEP 1: Assess
Close your eyes. Maybe take a few deep breaths, and ask yourself, What do I most need right now?
Maybe it's one of these:
love
safety
security
respect
acceptance
desire
care
connection
freedom
excitement
understanding
Maybe it's something else.
Whatever it is, allow it to float up to your consciousness and acknowledge it as what you most need right now.
STEP 2: Embody
Continue to breath deeply and gently. Then ask yourself a few questions as you tune inward:
What would it feel like for you to have _____ right now?
How would you feel inside if you had _____ right now?
Let the wisdom of your bodymind come forward and set down any logical or rational way of answering these.
Embody what it feels like to have what you most need right now.
STEP 3: Reflect
Stay with your breath. Stay with your body. And consider these questions as you reflect:
When do you feel the most _____ in your day, in your life?
When do you feel the least _____ in your day, in your life?
You've felt it before. You know how to get there, how to be there.
STEP 4: Self-responsibility
Keep breathing. Keep feeling. Keep noticing.
When you're considering what you need, what it feels like to have it, when you've felt it the most, step into self-responsibility and ask yourself:
What can you do to increase your sense of _____ in your day, in your life?
What do you do to reduce your sense of ______ in your day, in your life?
STEP 5: Action
Based on what you've learned and felt, come up with two or three action steps you can take to give yourself what you most need right now.
If you have resourced people around you, you might share with them what you're doing and how they could support you.
Maybe you share on social media as a declaration what you're doing to offer yourself some accountability.
( You can tag me, too. @danielatannernow )
You've heard it before, and you can't hear it enough to offer yourself compassion and patience.
THESE ARE UNPRECEDENTED TIMES.
I'm sending you love to move through them the best you can,
Daniela
P.S. I'm guiding people together through Desires, Fears, Loves, a beautiful communication and connection practice on Thursday nights.
Join us.
