Blog
9 Qualities for Determining the State of Your Union
"On a scale from 1 to 10, how happy are you as a couple?"
Mr. and Mrs. Smith is a movie that's spoken to me for a long time.
It was trying to tell me something about long term committed relationships.
I sat with it for years before I figured it out.
Even though it's from a cis white heteronormative framing, it's still about two people experiencing what I call The Relationship Journey.
3 Simple Steps To Reignite Love & More in Your Relationship
I see your partner and you and hold what's possible for you both.
I see the excitement and exhilaration of honeymoon, springtime-like love and sex,
especially in the shift to autumn.
Connection Doesn't Happen at Warp Speed; It Requires Space
I am all over the place. Maybe you can relate.
My brain is foggy.
My body is unsteady.
My desires are inarticulable.
White-Hot Lightning Kisses Are Within You
Have you ever kissed someone and experienced lightning?
Touched lips, entangled energies, and felt an electric pulse sweep through you to ignite your sensations…?
A friend has been sharing their experience with this, talking about what and how another person makes them feel when I said,
You are lightning.
Embody and Experience Your Inner Child for Deep Healing
At the intersection of two different triggers last week, I let myself sink into my darkened bedroom and cloudy thoughts.
I pulled the curtains across the brightness of the afternoon and climbed into my bed.
I wrapped the sheet and blankets around me tight.
7 Steps for Reclaiming Our Pleasure, Connection, and Interdependence
I need to remind us that sex is important.
Intimacy is important.
Closeness...is important.
We are created for pleasure.
We are designed for interdependence.
This is How To Gently Awaken Your Sexuality with Spring Energy
Feel the sun warming the air...
See the flowers bloom yellow, red, pink...
Taste fresh, dripping fruit...
Inhale freshly cut grass and squeezed lemons...
The Most Difficult Season of Your Relationship Might Need Support
You are not alone.
If this has been the most difficult season your relationship has faced...
If this has been the most difficult chapter of your life...
You are not alone.
Gently Support One Another's Bodies and Sexuality with Loving Touch
Sit down with me?
I'm picturing us nestled around a small, square table.
The flat wood is darker, and the texture offers my chest calm and grounding sensations with a reminder of the outdoors.
Maybe you're across from me so we can look at one another.
Are you feeling an auspicious opening toward the light today?
I've been thinking about you.
I woke up at 5:40 am this morning.
No real reason.
And when my logical, rational mind searched for reasons I might have woken up so early, I remembered it's December 21.
This Is How You Move Toward Embodied Self-Love
Something so powerful and deep happened in a coaching session a few weeks ago.
I've been thinking about it and wanting to share it, thinking it might click a few things into place for you, too.
Because most of us...we want to experience love with a partner, with our person.
The idea of self-love can feel so far-fetched and inaccessible because we first experience love in relationship and attachment to our primary caregivers.
How to Not Get Overwhelmed and Numb To It All
I'm not sure where your thoughts or emotions are at right now, friend.
And over the last few days I've been running through a spectrum of grief and hope and despair and anger marked with sparks of action and creativity.
I've also been ruminating around what feminist marketing consultant Kelly Diels (she/her) calls my spot on the wall.
The rawness of my core wound comes around every year.
The most vulnerable thing I could ever do is ask if you'd spend my birthday with me.
Even as I write the words, tears flood my eyes and spill over.
A knot clenches in my gut, and my throat becomes so tight it's almost impossible for me to breathe.
I try to swallow it down, but the icy terror in my heart threatens to heave up and out of my body.
This is How To Hold Yourself When Others Can't
I'm not sure I've ever experienced being more lonely than I have in the last several months.
Not alone...
But lonely.
That certain kind of loneliness that exists when I'm with other people
Do you want to pull me in closer or push me away?
Do you need space right now?
Or do you want someone to pull you in close?
We all have fears of abandonment in one form or another.
We just have different ways of managing those fears.
Three Ways to Return to Our Priorities in Pandemic Times
We have been doing this pandemic thing for over five months now.
Social distancing, sheltering-in-place, masks, hands-washing, working from home, online learning.
In some ways I've adapted.
In other moments I've completely lost my way.
This is How to Orient Toward Thriving in a Pandemic
At some point in the last few weeks I’ve sunk deeper into the realization that
Things aren’t going to change anytime soon.
I realized I’ve been treading water.
Legs scissor-kicking underwater.
This is How You Love Yourself (and your partner and the collective) in All The Ways
I've been thinking about you.
It's been weeks since I've written, and that doesn't mean I haven't had you on my mind.
I've written drafts around:
Several days ago I threw a glass at the floor and shattered it....
I wasn't angry.
I wasn't triggered.
And several days ago I picked up a glass and shattered it on the floor.
I was frustrated.
I was beyond my capacity.
This is How To Give Yourself What You Most Need Right Now
I feel like I'm in the tornado outer funnel right now...
Just hanging on...
And hoping I don't get spit out in a manure patch.
This was shared with me recently, and I thought, That's about right.