Which is More Closed Off: Your Heart or Your Sexuality?
For just a moment, close your eyes or let them gently unfocus.
Breathe into your heart.
Is it open?
Can you expand and soften into your heart with some ease?
Now focus on the space between your hips, between your legs.
Breathe into this place.
Is it accessible?
Can you be with and relax into your sexuality?
I'm curious...does one of these feel easier to connect with?
Most of us have a tendency to protect one more than the other.
This can make one the gatekeeper, controlling accessibility, openness, and receptivity.
Here are four steps you can take to open your heart and sexuality individually or with your partner.
STEP ONE: Determine
Discover if your heart or your sexuality is a gatekeeper for you.
If they feel equally shut down or equally open, choose which one you'd like to work with first.
STEP TWO: Container
Decide if you want to handwrite, type, text, email, or speak out loud these next few steps.
Do what feels safe and accessible and also a little scary and vulnerable.
If you're doing this with a partner, create a container of safety by gently asking,
"Are you open to hearing/reading/doing a process around opening the heart/sexuality?"
STEP THREE: Flow
Set a timer for sixty seconds.
MORE OPEN HEART:
If your heart is most open and feels like the gatekeeper to your sexuality, start by writing, typing, or saying:
"I love this about myself. I love that about myself" where you replace this or that with whatever comes to mind. If you're doing this with a partner, flow with "I love this about you. I love that about you...."
When the timer goes off, set it again for another sixty seconds and write, type, or say:
"I fear this. I fear that" where you replace this or that with whatever comes to mind.
One more time, when the timer goes off, set it again for another sixty seconds and continue write, type, or say:
"I desire this. I desire that" where you replace this or that with whatever comes to mind.
MORE OPEN SEXUALITY:
If your sexuality is more open that your heart right now, write, type or say:
"I desire this in my life. I desire that in my life" where you replace this or that with whatever bubbles up.
When the timer goes off, set it again for another sixty seconds and write, type, or say:
"I fear this. I fear that" where you replace this or that with whatever comes to mind.
One more time, when the timer goes off, set it again for another sixty seconds and continue write, type, or say:
"I love this about myself. I love that about myself" where you replace this or that with whatever comes to mind. If you're doing this with a partner, flow with "I love this about you. I love that about you...."
Rest when the timer goes off after this third time.
STEP FOUR: Gratitude
If you are doing this with a partner, say thank you for listening.
You can switch and let your partner go through the same process.
If you are doing this on your own, take a moment to say thank you for taking this time for yourself.
Your love, your desires, your compassion, your pleasure...they are worthy of being seen, heard, and held.
Offering your heart, your sexuality, your partner, and you so much love,
Daniela
P.S. If you have a hard time accessing your heart, your sexuality, or both, reach out to me. I have a free 20-minute consultation along with 60-minute sessions via Zoom for $180 and 90-minute sessions for $230.
