Blog
9 Qualities for Determining the State of Your Union
"On a scale from 1 to 10, how happy are you as a couple?"
Mr. and Mrs. Smith is a movie that's spoken to me for a long time.
It was trying to tell me something about long term committed relationships.
I sat with it for years before I figured it out.
Even though it's from a cis white heteronormative framing, it's still about two people experiencing what I call The Relationship Journey.
This is What Fun and Play Have To Do With Sex and Pleasure
I spontaneously went on a road trip to my friend's friend's place The Bearded Lady Pub to have some fun food (think beignets, fried Oreos, Twinkies, churros, cookie dough bites, etc.)
I gave myself permission to follow this whim despite not having any intentions or expectations.
Maybe inspired by Esther Perel's recent 7-day exploration around the art of foreplay...Perel first invites participants to focus on play.
This is How To Return to the Beginning of Sex and Intimacy Within and In Love
Sometimes...
you just have to scrap it all and start at the beginning.
I have triggered tendencies that want to burn bridges and return to ash.
That's not what I'm talking about.
Which is More Closed Off: Your Heart or Your Sexuality?
For just a moment, close your eyes or let them gently unfocus.
Breathe into your heart.
Is it open?
Can you expand and soften into your heart with some ease?
Side by Side, Back to Back, This is How You Two Co-Create Your Life Moving Forward
Maybe the two of you have different ideas around what to do with your time.
Maybe the stress is affecting you each differently.
Maybe what you need right now is different.
And...
This is Where Amazing Sex Begins
I learned this tip around where amazing sex begins from Carlin Ross.
And it is:
Never show up to a moment where you want or believe sex could happen without oil or lubricant.
Why?
4 Steps to Connect Desire with Arousal (or the vice versa)
Sometimes I catch myself looking at Shaun and wanting to rub myself all over him.
I'm not always clear in that moment which part of me is responding....
Because it could be my heart.
Swelling with the love, compassion, joy, emotion I feel with him and toward him.
5 Things #MeToo Needs You To Heal In Your Relationship
When I shared with my partner that the foundation of my sex life has been guilt and pressure and performing pleasure for the benefit of lovers I've been with...
It didn't go well.
My partner and I were frozen around what to do after this revelation.
What did it mean about our relationship?