This is What Fun and Play Have To Do With Sex and Pleasure
Hey, there,
I spontaneously went on a road trip to my friend's friend's place The Bearded Lady Pub to have some fun food (think beignets, fried Oreos, Twinkies, churros, cookie dough bites, etc.)
I gave myself permission to follow this whim despite not having any intentions or expectations.
Maybe inspired by Esther Perel's recent 7-day exploration around the art of foreplay...Perel first invites participants to focus on play.
grimace
Pleasure is a word I felt disconnected from for so long.
Fun is another one of those words that is difficult for me to connect with.
So I've been considering what invites me to connect with fun and playful and spontaneous and adventurous pieces of myself.
"Pick an object that symbolizes PLAY for each of you."
I immediately thought of bubbles.
And my resistance was still present, too.
Glennon Doyle recently explored fun and play on her podcast with the idea that girls around third grade are taught to no longer have fun, but to be pretty, polite, kind...consumable.
To have fun and play is to be free from how you look to others, free to try on any way you want to feel, free to imagine and explore and create.
Girls—and then women and moms especially—oftentimes don't get to be free.
And yet that fun, playful mindset is the one most conducive to amazing sex and deep pleasure and is thus a part of foreplay and engaging the erotic mind.
So slowly I've begun to create a play and fun altar while also taking more time to connect with pleasure and to slow down to be in and remember my body.
I've been moving through Che Che Luna's inpleasure online sensual dance workshop and setting intentions for the day around fun, play, pleasure, etc.
This looks like:
Inviting forth a silly sleepy even when I didn't sleep well in a hotel bed
Silly faces day even after being jolted awake to feed my daughter's goats
Playing a joy-filled playlist that's so ridiculous and fun even when I feel too heavy to move
Using emojis more to loosen up text messages I send even if I feel stupid
Writing with colored pens more often, because they make me smile
Fun and pleasure are still within me, and they are still within you.
We can invite them forward to be present in a way that doesn't bypass the burnout and social injustices and political mockery of the moment while experiencing them as nourishment and a reminder of why we're alive.
Offering so much love,
Daniela
