Gently Support One Another's Bodies and Sexuality with Loving Touch

Sit down with me?

I'm picturing us nestled around a small, square table.

The flat wood is darker, and the texture offers my chest calm and grounding sensations with a reminder of the outdoors.

Maybe you're across from me so we can look at one another.

Perhaps I'm sitting next to you so the intensity is less.

And it will be intense, right?

When we're able to be together again in close proximity to enjoy one another's company....

And if your partner and you are together, I invite you to gently and deeply get closer to one another this weekend toward supporting of one another’s bodies and sexuality.

Photo by Neil Thomas

Here is how to offer one another loving sacral support in eight steps, which is especially supportive if either of you have experienced sexual trauma, if you haven’t had sex for a long time, or if either one of you feel like sex is an obligation.

STEP ONE: Get Comfortable

Decide who will offer first and who will receive first.

If you're receiving, lie down in a comfortable position, preferably on something soft like a couch or bed.

If you're offering, then sit in a comfortable position, either alongside your partner or between their legs.

You will be sitting for 8-10 minutes, so find a position that works for you.

STEP TWO: Placement

Start a timer for 8-10 minutes, and if you are offering, take one hand and place it underneath your partner’s sacrum as if you’re cupping their tailbone.

Find a comfortable position for both your hand and their sacrum.

Check in with your partner who is receiving to make sure the spot feels good.

Shift your hand around until you’ve found a spot that feels good to both of you.

Then take your other hand and place it over your partner’s genitals.

If this feels too intimate in this moment, place your other hand over their heart.

STEP THREE: Breathe

Once you’ve found a good spot for both of you hands, invite your partner to breathe into their sacrum, genitals, and pelvic floor or their chest if that's where your hand is.

They can inhale through the nose or mouth and exhale through their mouth.

Guide them to breathe as though the genitals or heart are breathing.

STEP FOUR: Allow and Hold Space

This can bring up strong emotions, feelings, and sensations.

If you are receiving, as you breathe allow yourself to feel and allow whatever arises.

Maybe tears.

Maybe anger.

Allow everything that you feel inside of your body.

If you are offering, invite your partner to express any strong feelings they're experiencing in their body by crying, kicking, screaming, and expressing.

Everything is welcome.

STEP FIVE: Connected Breathing

Deepen your breath as you receive, and start a connected breath.

A connected breath happens when there is no pause between the inhale and exhale and no pause between the exhale and inhale.

Keep breathing like this, in and out.

STEP SIX: Encouragement and Affirmations

If you are offering, if you notice your partner stops breathing, softly encourage them to continue breathing and with a connected breath.

Periodically say to your partner, “You are safe. I love you. I accept you.”

Offer compliments and affirmations about their sexuality and/or their heart and love.

STEP SEVEN: Integrate

When the timer goes off, slowly remove your hands and let your receiving partner sit or lie in silence to rest for a couple of minutes.

As the receiver, when you're ready, gently open your eyes, thank your partner, and take a moment to share about your experience.

STEP EIGHT: Switch

Now switch roles and repeat this practice again.



This connection practice invites the gentle intimacy of touch and breath and presence that we all can benefit from as we shift from the constriction of pandemic shutdown toward the light at the end of the tunnel.

Offering so much love,
Daniela

P.S. If you try this practice, please hit reply and let me know what you experienced. :)