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Here is what I want for us. Are you with me?
Here is what I want for us:
I want a relationship where we experience a connection, a close bond, an attachment.
I want a relationship where I can read your cues around what you need and want, and you can read mine...where we're willing to learn one another's cues and respond to them.
Gently Support One Another's Bodies and Sexuality with Loving Touch
Sit down with me?
I'm picturing us nestled around a small, square table.
The flat wood is darker, and the texture offers my chest calm and grounding sensations with a reminder of the outdoors.
Maybe you're across from me so we can look at one another.
Why didn't anyone tell me we're all in our individual silos?!???
Hey!
Why didn't you tell me?
I didn't know that we've all been in our own individual silos the last eight months or so.
Whether because of my work with people and relationships...
Can We Grieve This Pandemic Freeze State Together?
I spent the first half of yesterday contemplating the freeze we're all in.
A cycle of stillness and rest...
And also a stress cycle of numb and stuck and cold.
It's been a long yin-state since February.
Several days ago I threw a glass at the floor and shattered it....
I wasn't angry.
I wasn't triggered.
And several days ago I picked up a glass and shattered it on the floor.
I was frustrated.
I was beyond my capacity.
This is how COVID-19 stress is affecting my relationship. How are you doing in yours?
I'm not proud of it.
In fact I have some shame....
A few days ago I unceremoniously turned my phone on airplane mode for five or so hours.
A part of me knew it would hurt my partner.
Does Your Relationship Err on the Side of Caution or Take Risks?
How are you doing?
How are you really doing?
I'm not the type to ask if I didn't really care.
So I honestly invite you to hit reply and share with me what you're really experiencing, really noticing in terms of your sensations, emotions, and thoughts.
Here's Why You Should Avoid Texting Important Conversations
Ahem.
I should know better.
The first time I meet with clients -- whether individually or with their partner -- we explore and go over stress cycles:
The Tasmanian Devil that Lives Within Me
Do you experience this?
When life is accelerated and time bends and twists as if from some other dimension,
I find my body whirls.
I get this dull tension in my solar plexus, near where my gallbladder used to be, and it feels like the Tasmanian Devil has taken up residence.
How Safe Is It For You to Feel Your Emotions Around Your Partner?
I can't look you in the eye.
My worldview narrows.
I can't feel my body or anything in it.
My brain begins to shut down high-level functioning.
I feel like I'm floating and not attached to anything.
Bring Out Your Partner's Worst to Discover Their Truth (Here's How)
We all know what love feels like.
Your chest expands. It feels full. You feel light and clear. Your smile can't get any bigger. Your heart may even feel like it's cracking and breaking open to emerge even fuller than before. Your bones melt. Your insides are warm.