This is how COVID-19 stress is affecting my relationship. How are you doing in yours?

I'm not proud of it.

In fact I have some shame....

A few days ago I unceremoniously turned my phone on airplane mode for five or so hours.

A part of me knew it would hurt my partner.

( We are long distance with a now-closed international border between us; it's been 46 days since we've seen one another. Having phone access to one another is a big deal. )

And a part of me TERRIFIED...

in huge amounts of fear...

contracted into protection...

and did it anyway.

I'm trying to offer myself some compassion....

-- This threat isn't all in our heads.

-- This isn't manufactured stress.

--  This isn't a drill.

THIS IS REAL.

It's a lot for each of us to carry.

It is a lot for me to carry.

My toxic coping mechanisms are showing up faster than I can witness them.

My bodymind is reacting faster than my ability to consciously choose something different.

And now more than ever I have to be gentle with myself.

I have to be compassionate.

I have to be forgiving.

I have to take responsibility for my triggers and trauma body and stress cycles without sinking into a shame spiral.

I have to show up to love.

I'm hoping you're showing up, too.

Thinking of you and sending you so much love,
Daniela

P.S. Next Thursday I'm guiding you through my most beautiful (and effective and efficient) communication practice: Desires, Fears, Loves. Take thirty minutes to connect deeply with your partner in a container of safety and reciprocity from 7 - 3:30 pm PDT.

Find out more here.