Blog
Are you feeling an auspicious opening toward the light today?
I've been thinking about you.
I woke up at 5:40 am this morning.
No real reason.
And when my logical, rational mind searched for reasons I might have woken up so early, I remembered it's December 21.
Lay Back, Remember Who You Are, and Return Home to Yourself
I lay back down after turning over to see what time it is.
It's too early.
My eyes are too dry, too swollen, too tired to be awake right now.
And here I am.
Why didn't anyone tell me we're all in our individual silos?!???
Hey!
Why didn't you tell me?
I didn't know that we've all been in our own individual silos the last eight months or so.
Whether because of my work with people and relationships...
Acknowledging Where We Are To Get To Where We Want To Be
I am so grateful for Eliza's (she/her) reminder yesterday...for the permission her post offers me.
Because I have a pretty great relationship with gratitude. I come into celebration and thankfulness and gratitude quite easily.
And yesterday as I was acknowledging a lighter aspect of US Thanksgiving,
in addition to acknowledging National Day of Mourning and learning deeper around the myths and erasure of indigenous people,
I found I could barely lean into gratitude without a spring of grief upwelling right next to it.
Can We Grieve This Pandemic Freeze State Together?
I spent the first half of yesterday contemplating the freeze we're all in.
A cycle of stillness and rest...
And also a stress cycle of numb and stuck and cold.
It's been a long yin-state since February.
This is How You Love Yourself (and your partner and the collective) in All The Ways
I've been thinking about you.
It's been weeks since I've written, and that doesn't mean I haven't had you on my mind.
I've written drafts around:
This is Why Video Chatting with Your Loved Ones is So Hard
Before all of this happened, my partner and I already had a lot of experience with distance.
Being in an international, long distance relationship is hard.
Closed borders.
She's a frontlines healthcare worker.
I'm a trauma-informed sex and intimacy coach.
Side by Side, Back to Back, This is How You Two Co-Create Your Life Moving Forward
Maybe the two of you have different ideas around what to do with your time.
Maybe the stress is affecting you each differently.
Maybe what you need right now is different.
And...
This is How I Realized My Heart is Numbed
Sometime recently a friend forwarded me a list of journaling prompts, questions to explore and really look at around pandemic, coronavirus, social distancing, COVID-19, shelter-in-place, quarantine, isolation, ventilators, ICU.
I kept her email and every once in awhile would open it up and read through the questions.
Well, actually, I'd read the first prompt and stop.
This is how COVID-19 stress is affecting my relationship. How are you doing in yours?
I'm not proud of it.
In fact I have some shame....
A few days ago I unceremoniously turned my phone on airplane mode for five or so hours.
A part of me knew it would hurt my partner.
What is there really even to say to one another?
I'm feeling the urge to share so many things with you.
And...
I am concurrently holding a piece that's says, "What's the point? Where would I start?"
I'm curious if you're experiencing something similar when you turn to look at your partner at the end of the day...at the end of this unique week.
Does Your Relationship Err on the Side of Caution or Take Risks?
How are you doing?
How are you really doing?
I'm not the type to ask if I didn't really care.
So I honestly invite you to hit reply and share with me what you're really experiencing, really noticing in terms of your sensations, emotions, and thoughts.