5 Things #MeToo Needs You To Heal In Your Relationship

Photo by Allef Vinicius

When I shared with my partner that the foundation of my sex life has been guilt and pressure and performing pleasure for the benefit of lovers I've been with...

It didn't go well.

My partner and I were frozen around what to do after this revelation.

What did it mean about our relationship?

We sought out tons of books, professionals, and resources to thaw our hesitancy and fear, but nothing worked.

When I felt vulnerable and brave enough to face it, he was in the realm of raw and defensive.

When he had a suggestion and was ready to take a step forward, I was triggered as fuck and lashing out with blame.

Even though this was years and years ago, and Shaun and I have worked our way through it, I see the same patterns reflected in my friends' and clients' experiences in the tsunami after effects of the #MeToo Movement.

If we are going to get real, we have to bring our shame out of the closet and into the light.

If we want a deeper connection with our partner, we have to heal the wounds of the past.

That's why I'm here to share with you five things you need to heal in your relationship around #MeToo:

ONE: Trust

TWO: Communication

THREE: Boundaries

FOUR: Expectations

FIVE: Empowered Sex and Intimacy

Wow.

I could write volumes about each of these. 

The truth is that the words can only take us so far. 

We need a deeply EMBODIED experience of these five things.
We need to experience them in our BODIES.
We need SUPPORT in bringing them into our relationships.

So while I don't want to be an asshole and leave you hanging, I do want to be honest with you around what it takes to heal. 

I'm putting together in-person workshops and an online course as we speak to give you the embodied, supportive experience you need.

To be first to get more information about upcoming Healing #MeToo In Your Relationship workshops and online courses, you can go to danielatanner.com/healingmetoo

In the meantime, start with my Holding Space Training, and share with me how the #MeToo Movement has affected your relationship.

Sending you so much love on your journey,
Daniela

P.S. Check out this week's episode of the Epic Couples Podcast.

Shaun and I talk about sex, shame, and power and how #MeToo affects long term relationships. While developing a spectrum ranging from Harvey Weinstein to Aziz Anzari, listen as we discuss needing to evolve past the idea of consent around sex and shift into and #enthusiasticyes mindset.