This is How To Invite Heartbrokenness To Teach You

Much of my freedom and joy is bound up in my capacity to mourn.
- Lama Rod Owens

Hey, you,

I have been deeply grieving the last several weeks and letting my body show me how to forgive myself and others, how to heal, and how to love.

There's no pushing or forcing, no "should" or "shouldn't."

There's a deep surrender to "This is how I feel right now...This is how it is in this moment."

I've invited myself into emotional fluidity practices to remind my nervous system that there's pleasure and joy and innocence and even anger to choose from amidst grief.

I also write.

I type.

I journal.

( Shout out to the 30-day journaling grief course that is supporting me to process in that way. )

I share beautiful moments.

I share pain and overwhelm.

I share insight and integration.

I've also been thinking about vows and rituals and how to offer myself what different pieces of me need.

Lama Rod Owens writes about skillful mourning in his book Love & Rage: The Path of Liberation Through Anger.

He says:

“Mourning is my attempt to acknowledge heartbrokenness, accept it, and offer it space to be in my experience so it may do its work of teaching me and passing through.

Whenever I feel this energy, I allow it; and it is something that I am encouraging others to do as well.

When we are sitting with someone, it is an expression of compassion to offer them the space to move through their heartbrokenness.”

So I acknowledge.

I accept.

I create space, and I offer space.

Yesterday I decided to create physical space, sacred space, metaphorical space, ritual space for conversations not had, words unspoken, and opportunities not taken.

I am holding space.

Offering a moment.

Staying open.

Maybe something will come of it, and maybe something won’t.

And I know that shutting down or staying forever open are not the binary options from which I want to choose.

I choose space.

What are you choosing?

What space are you offering yourself?

What are you mourning?

What does your heartbrokenness need right now?

What do you need to say that you haven’t said?

You're welcome to email me and share with me your story and what you've been experiencing.

Or take some time and space just for you to write or type in response to these questions and prompts. :)

In the meantime, I'm offering you so much love.
Daniela