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Connection Doesn't Happen at Warp Speed; It Requires Space
I am all over the place. Maybe you can relate.
My brain is foggy.
My body is unsteady.
My desires are inarticulable.
"I'm tired" is the new "I'm fine." You're not tired. You're not fine.
I'm tired.
Are you?
I've noticed that for some people "tired" can be code for boredom or pessimism, frustration, irritation, impatience....
Sometimes it encompasses overwhelm, disappointment, doubt, or worry.
This is How To Invite Heartbrokenness To Teach You
I have been deeply grieving the last several weeks and letting my body show me how to forgive myself and others, how to heal, and how to love.
There's no pushing or forcing, no "should" or "shouldn't."
There's a deep surrender to "This is how I feel right now...This is how it is in this moment."
Here is what I want for us. Are you with me?
Here is what I want for us:
I want a relationship where we experience a connection, a close bond, an attachment.
I want a relationship where I can read your cues around what you need and want, and you can read mine...where we're willing to learn one another's cues and respond to them.
How to Not Get Overwhelmed and Numb To It All
I'm not sure where your thoughts or emotions are at right now, friend.
And over the last few days I've been running through a spectrum of grief and hope and despair and anger marked with sparks of action and creativity.
I've also been ruminating around what feminist marketing consultant Kelly Diels (she/her) calls my spot on the wall.
Several days ago I threw a glass at the floor and shattered it....
I wasn't angry.
I wasn't triggered.
And several days ago I picked up a glass and shattered it on the floor.
I was frustrated.
I was beyond my capacity.
The Tasmanian Devil that Lives Within Me
Do you experience this?
When life is accelerated and time bends and twists as if from some other dimension,
I find my body whirls.
I get this dull tension in my solar plexus, near where my gallbladder used to be, and it feels like the Tasmanian Devil has taken up residence.
3 Steps for Finding Peace in Your Relationship During Triggering Times
I've been waking up angry.
Throughout my days I'll find moments of connection and even moments of peace.
And then BOOM!
Another wave of rage will wash over me.