This is How To Return to the Beginning of Sex and Intimacy Within and In Love

Hey, you,

Sometimes...

you just have to scrap it all and start at the beginning.

I have triggered tendencies that want to burn bridges and return to ash.

That's not what I'm talking about.

When I write, oftentimes my linear pieces will stare at the page, blink a whole bunch of times, and want to return to the beginning with fresh eyes, perhaps never to make it all of the way to the end.

That's not what I'm talking about either.

And when it comes to our sex and intimacy, it can be healing to return to the beginning in an honoring, reverent, and even playful way.

This weekend, to connect deeper with your partner, stay in bed a little longer or go to bed a little earlier, and share with one another the story of how you first met or of how you fell in love.

Retell and re-experience this “story of us” with all of the humor, fondness, and sensation of those days.

Photo by Mahrael Boutros

This weekend, to connect deeper within to your inner, personal sexuality, stay in the shower a little longer or take a bath a little slower, and explore the Five Stages of Sexuality:

STAGE ONE: Innocence

In each phase it is generally helpful to get yourself into the experience of being a baby, or a little child or a teenager....

( I do this with music. Here is a playlist put together by Layla Martin for exploring your body with innocence. )

and THEN touch your body.

Don’t try to explore yourself as a baby or a little boy.

EXPERIENCE yourself as an innocent baby and toddler and explore your body.

Explore your entire body and keep returning to the experience of childhood innocence.

STAGE TWO: Play

Explore from a place of play!

Take your time to playfully explore your whole body.

( Here is music to support playing. )

You’re between the ages of 5-12, the ages of play and curiosity.

You can, for instance, dance in front of the mirror or jump on the bed or splash in the shower.

Do whatever feels playful to you inside your body.

STAGE THREE: Honoring

As a tween or teenager explore all parts of your body, how they work, what they respond to, what they look like, how they're changing, and what invites pleasure.

( Here is a playlist that might bring you into this space. )

You can use a mirror and your fingers to explore.

Learn about your body from a place of awe and excitement.

STAGE FOUR: Pleasure

Be in the experience of being a young adult and explore everything that feels amazing.

You can play with different textures, oils, or lubricants and anything that enhances your sensual experience.

Revel in pleasure.

Celebrate pleasure!

( Here is music for fun pleasure. And here is one for sexy pleasure. )

Be in the experience of an abundance of pleasure!

STAGE FIVE: Sacredness

Invite pleasure to be divine and sacred by setting the space with great intention.

( Support this stage with music and ambience with this playlist if it helps. )

Maybe you use the fluffiest towels, the nicest sheets, the most expensive of oils.

Make sure to reach every part of your body in this sacred process and go slow with great awareness and gratitude for what you're experiencing.


Return to the beginning of your relationship with your body and your sexuality.

Return to the beginning of your relationship with your parter.

And deeply connect within and in love.

Offering you so much love,
Daniela