This is Why Unspoken Conversations Linger Between You Two
Hey....
I'm sorry your partner and you had that same circular argument again that led to...nothing.
I'm sorry you spiraled into that same funk you've been experiencing for years except now it feels...hollow.
It's like the sensations and emotions aren't even fresh anymore.
They're played out.
They're scripted.
You're going through the motions.
Like...
What is this even about??
And yet your body remembers something reminiscent of eruptive or paralyzing or escaping.
Your stress cycles remain.
- How do you move past this?
- How do you release what was?
- How do you start fresh?
Words may not be enough if the sensation and emotion within you is stuck, is perhaps tight, or maybe even numb.
You may need to invite it out in a container that is safe and deep yet gentle and embodied.
Photo by Toa Heftiba
Here's how to safely express and release around your partner (or anyone else) to clear the way for deep connection in six steps:
SETUP:
Arrange four pillows in a diamond about one foot apart apart.
STEP 1:
Sit down on the first pillow and face the pillow opposite of you.
Look and see your partner sitting across from you on the pillow.
Begin to express how you really feel, starting with any sensations, emotions, or feelings.
Purge.
You don’t have to play nice.
You don’t have to hold back, and you don’t have to be politically correct.
If you need to you can attack the pillow, beat it and scream, shout or cry.
You can express anything that comes from an unfiltered honesty about how you really feel.
Express it fully.
Don’t hold back, and say whatever is coming up for you.
STEP 2:
When you feel complete, sit on the pillow where your partner was, embodying your partner and facing yourself on the opposite pillow.
Take a moment to take in what you just heard, and then respond in the same unfiltered way with no holding back.
Fully embody your partner and unleash.
Switch back to the first pillow and become yourself again and respond.
Return to the projection and embodiment of your partner and respond.
Continue like this until you feel complete.
It may only take one round or two rounds...or it could take five.
Let it take as many necessary until everything has come up and out.
STEP 3:
Move to sit on the bottom pillow in the diamond shape.
Now witness, as an observer, what is happening between these two people and speak what you observe.
You are an impartial judge who is watching these two people purging at each other.
Focus on what you notice and what you see.
STEP 4:
Sit on the peak of the diamond.
Turn to the left, facing your partner and visualize him/her sitting on the pillow.
Having heard and felt all of this, what do you feel is really going on with this person?
What is this really about?
What does this person need?
What does this person desire?
In this part, you're encouraged to take on a deeper understanding of what's happening while building compassion for what your partner is really going through.
STEP 5:
When that feels complete, stay on the pillow and rotate to look to the right to see yourself sitting there, and share what you feel and see for yourself.
Having heard and felt all of this, what do you feel is really going on with you?
What is this really about?
What do you need?
What do you really desire?
STEP 6:
Set the pillows to the side and find a comfortable place to lay down and integrate.
Having gone through that, what do you think the next steps are in your relationship?
How do you better understand yourself and your partner?
What dynamics are really going on?
I know you're strong enough and vulnerable enough for this deep, powerful work.
Sending you so much love,
Daniela
