Here's Why You Should Avoid Texting Important Conversations

Ahem.

I should know better.

The first time I meet with clients -- whether individually or with their partner -- we explore and go over stress cycles:

* Fight

* Flight

* Freeze

You know why?!

Because if you or your partner (or both of you) are in a stress cycle, there's no way you're going to have a logical, rational conversation.

NO WAY.

The primal, reptilian brain is activated, and the only goal is TO SURVIVE.

The two of you can't have conversations about thriving, about flourishing, about repairing if either one of you are in that state.

So it's imperative you begin to watch in yourself and in your partner if you feel your energy moving forward and getting big and coming up and out from your solar plexus --> FIGHT

It's important to notice in your partner or in yourself if you feel yourself moving backward, folding your arms across your chest and placing distance in between you and your partner --> FLEE

It's helpful to witness in yourself or your partner if you feel yourself shrinking, if you feel your breath slowing, if you feel your mind and thoughts numbing --> FREEZE

BUT!

If the two of you are texting, you can't see this in your partner. 

If the two of you are messaging, you can't see if they're in a triggered state.

If the two of you are messaging, you can't see if they're capable of a logical, rational conversation.

And this, my lovebugs, equals trouble, leads to disconnect, and oftentimes amounts to anger, frustration, irritation, isolation, and all the other SUPER SHITTY things.

Don't do that.

Avoid having important conversations in text.

Right?

Sending you so much love,
Daniela