Three Ways to Return to Our Priorities in Pandemic Times
We have been doing this pandemic thing for over five months now.
Social distancing, sheltering-in-place, masks, hands-washing, working from home, online learning.
In some ways I've adapted.
In other moments I've completely lost my way.
This YouTube video (00:10:58 in length) completely puts the pandemic into perspective gently, lightly, and with the focus we need to return to four base priorities.
It's absolutely worth your time.
Next.
I've already shared around how insightful it can be to know your primary Love Language.
I'm grateful to Gary Chapman for creating this tool (although I do not agree with all of his beliefs or applications of this resource).
When you know your primary Love Language, you can offer yourself love in that language, and you can request love from your partner, children, family, and friends in that language.
Mine is physical touch, so I've been huddling under my gravity blanket, skin brushing, walking, dancing when I feel up to it, and spending more time lovingly applying oil or lotion to my skin.
What's yours?
You can absolutely hit reply, and share with me what your primary Love Language is and how you've been offering yourself love these last few months.
One of the final ways I want to offer you perspective and a focus on your priorities during pandemia is to determine three things you want and need most in a romantic relationship.
You may or may not be in a romantic relationship right now.
You may or may not be sheltering-in-place with a partner.
And.
We are born into attachment with our parents and primary caregivers.
We cannot survive without them.
Our human brain is wired for connection and attachment.
So no matter how independent or introverted we are, we need people.
Photo by Shwa Hall
Let's narrow down the three things you most want and need from another person:
STEP ONE: Rate
Grab a piece of paper or open a space on your phone. Then rate on a scale of 1 - 10 where
1 means “I couldn't care less.”
10 means “I absolutely need this."
how important is it for you to feel the following in your relationship:
How much do you need to, or want to, feel love? ___
How much do you need to, or want to, feel safety? ___
How much do you need to, or want to, feel security? ___
How much do you need to, or want to, feel respect? ___
How much do you need to, or want to, feel acceptance? ___
How much do you need to, or want to, feel desire? ___
How much do you need to, or want to, feel care? ___
How much do you need to, or want to, feel connection? ___
How much do you need to, or want to, feel excitement?___
How much do you need to, or want to, feel freedom?___
STEP TWO: Personalize
Is there a question or quality not mentioned that you most want to feel in your relationship?
If so, rate that quality from 1 - 10, too.
Some people I've worked with have wanted or needed to feel understood, desired, or heard, for example.
STEP THREE: Gather
Determine your top three needs or wants in a relationship.
If two of them are tied, ask yourself if you want one more than the other.
If they're still tied, make room for four things you want and need.
There's no hard and fast rules around needing to stick to three. :)
Feel free to share them with me if you'd like.
STEP FOUR: Reflect
Do they resonate?
Do they make sense to you?
Explore this new information and insightful to see if it's personally relevant and helpful.
If it's not, set it down and move on with your life.
Returning to our priorities can give us purpose and focus at a time when everything feels so deeply important and...
nothing seems to matter at all.
I'm here going through it, too.
And sending you so much love on this weird, weird journey,
Daniela
