What do you need tonight? What do you want tonight?  

After Shaun says good night to our three kids and joins me downstairs, these are the most likely questions you'll hear from either one of us.

I’m curious.

How do you feel at the end of the day?

Do you feel disconnected? Drained? Stuck...?

Lately I've been hearing a lot of people say, "...but I can't complain."

My answer to them?

Yes. Yes, you can...!

A few nights ago Shaun and I were neck deep in a discussion about a big financial move we're looking to make.

I'd spent all day in the details, in the small print, in conversation, and in the research....

You probably didn't see it. 

A freaked out part of me hopes you didn't see it....

Earlier this week, I was outside in the backyard lying on a blanket, listening to the needs of my body. 

I had spent three hours glued to my chair with hour after hour of calls (Great calls! Wonderful calls!)....

I used to think transformation had to be hard.

I thought transformation would come with a lot of pushing, with a lot of force, and with excruciating pain and discomfort....

"Whose bag is this?"

"That's mine...."

I'm an all-or-nothing kind of woman.

Lately my all-or-nothing, black-or-white style hasn't been working for me. It's actually been causing a lot of suffering and a lot of pain.

The naked dream.

That one where you're standing up in front of your colleagues during an important meeting or at the front of a room....

I'll admit it.

I'm good friends with the darker emotions, with the more uncomfortable sensations.

I'm capable of holding yours, too — your heavy emotions and aching sensations.

It isn’t exactly breaking news that fast food is bad for you.

We all know it. 

But it isn’t exactly breaking news that fast food SEX is bad for you.

“Yes, I can pick up your kids for you.”

“No problem. I can swing by your house to drop that off.”

“Yeah, I’m not feeling so well, but I can probably still do it.”
 

February is upon on us, and it's become more than just a Hallmark-card, one-day event.

While I was in grad school, February became all about V-Day, a global activist movement to end violence against rape and girls. I was writing my thesis on The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler and attending performances that empowered women.

I am doing a lot of personal work around sensations and healing these days.

Years ago I learned that before an emotion there is a sensation – a physical response in the body to stimuli. Sometimes it’s a sight or a sound or a smell or the way something feels or tastes. Even a thought or memory can stimulate a sensation, and thus, an emotion. 

How often do you pay attention to the sensations in your body?

Do you notice when you are tender, sensitive, bruised, achy, sore, tense, tight, or nauseous?

How about when you feel

I get it.

I do.

You want to lose 10 pounds (or more). 

Thinking and talking about change is only one part of transformation.

And I want transformation for you.

It's the time of year when many of us think and talk about resolutions that reveal our deepest desires for how we want our lives to be. 

Not long ago, I was triggered back into the idea that my sexuality is defined by climax.

I felt broken, worthless, undeserving.

When I calmed down, I asked myself,

A few days ago I watched James Corden's Christmas Carpool Karaoke with Mariah Carey, and since then I've been singing:

All I want for Christmas is yooooou o/~