ROMANTIC STYLE

I’m Daniela Stevens. I use she/they pronouns. I’m a trauma-informed certified Sex and Intimacy coach for couples and individuals, and I’ve created this specific container of a Sex Practice to support what I call Relationship Sex.

Interlocking systems of supremacy affect how we feel about ourselves, how we feel about our partners, and how we move through the world. We’re here to unlearn unhealthy and toxic ways of relating to ourselves and to others and to relearn healthy, satisfying, fulfilling, deep, and meaningful ways of connecting.

We are gathered here as people in relationships for whom sex is important to invite collective belonging around how sexual intimacy is not easy amidst capitalist white supremacist patriarchy and its effects of climate collapse and active, expanding genocide, medical bankruptcy, amongst other things.

Our live & online guided Sex Practice supports us to remember we are not alone. We are not broken. Nothing is wrong with us. And that we must be intentional in starting and returning to our ritual of our partner and us routinely co-creating a specific time and place  to clarify, connect, communicate, and/or heal with the intention of moving toward and co-creating naked pleasure and connection together.

A Sex Practice is the ritual of our partner and us routinely co-creating a specific time and place  to clarify, connect, communicate, and/or heal with the intention of moving toward and co-creating naked pleasure and connection together.

When it comes to sexual intimacy when we’re three or more years into our relationship, we want to focus on four general things:

1. Logistical opportunity 

2. Our inner energy

3. Outer context

4. Dynamic between you

First, you two have taken the opportunity with the energy of Valentine’s Day to set aside time and space for your connection.

You have co-created the logistical opportunity.

Next, I’m going to invite you to create the context—ideally in your bedroom, and in a hotel, a VRBO, on the couch, or at the kitchen table works, too.

Focus on a setting that invites connection and pleasure where you feel comfortable and safe enough with each other.

Having a candle to light sets an energetic intention to focus on one another.

I also invite you to have a hand towel and your favorite oil or lubricant nearby to make for an easier shift to sexual intimacy if and when you both want to.

To add to the context, for this practice either or both of you may want a blindfold, scarf, and/or a handtowel to enhance the practice. You might grab what you have and have them available.

Each of you is also going to gather one item from each of these categories thinking about something that may be pleasing or sensual or enjoyable for your partner.

You might put them on a plate or a tray so they’re altogether and available for you. You could hide them under a napkin or papertowel.

My invitation is to keep your selections a surprise for your partner so they don't anticipate the experience. 

For taste: Fruits, chocolate, nut butters, etc. 

For smell: Essential oils, fruits, flowers, etc. 

For touch: Soft feathers, rose petals, cool stone, etc.

For sound: Start thinking about a stream of things you love about them that they'll hear whispered into their ear

The rest of our Sex Practice today will be focusing on cultivating each of your inner energies and supporting the dynamic between the two of you, so you feel more open, soft, warm, and willing to move toward naked pleasure together.

With Five Senses Awakening this month, we are working on co-creating by focusing on the:

• Intention of offering and receiving

• Mindset of connecting to your body and inviting your partner to connect to their body; of mutuality and balance

• The skills holding space, surrendering, breathing, being present, 

All so you can ripen into the best sex of your lives.

You'll also get the recording so you can revisit you don't have to engage this material deeply the first time through.