Co-Create Your
Sex Practice
WHAT IS A SEX PRACTICE?
A Sex Practice is the ritual of your partner and you
routinely co-creating a specific time and place
to clarify, connect, communicate, and/or heal
with the intention of moving toward and co-creating naked pleasure and connection together.
Want to get started?
HERE ARE 6 STEPS TOWARD STARTING YOUR SEX PRACTICE:
STEP 1: PLAN
Decide on a date and time when your partner and you have one hour of private, uninterrupted, focused time.
You can think of it as a date night or even a date morning.
You can schedule it as a meeting with your partner or consider it like a weekly relationship workshop.
Make sure you both put it on your calendars, and honor it as a commitment yourself, to one another and your relationship.
Then take care of any babysitting or other responsibilities that might get in the way of the two of you enjoying this time together.
Turn off your phone, and make sure your pets are happy and occupied.
STEP 2: PREPARE
Leading up to your Sex Practice, prepare yourselves emotionally by offering your partner love in their primary Love Language and requesting love in your primary Love Language.
This can support you both to feel resourced and grounded in loving and being loved when you arrive to your Sex Practice.
Next, prepare yourselves erotically by considering what invites your partner and you into pleasure around your primary Erotic Blueprints.
Think about what you each might want to bring into the space to invite pleasure and to accelerate desire and arousal.
For example, considering the five senses may be important if your partner or you has a sensual Erotic Blueprint.
Blindfolds, feathers, textured items, or other creative objects might be great to have easily accessible if your partner or you have a kinky Erotic Blueprint.
I recommend having a body-friendly oil like coconut, almond, or sesame oil and a handtowel or two nearby.
It may be important, too, to make sure you have clean hands and short nails.
Prepare your mind and body for the conscious and committed opportunity to connect with your partner and engage your relationship.
STEP 3: SHIFT
Once you've planned when your Sex Practice is happening (it can change week-to-week) and you've prepared yourself and the space, step into your Sex Practice to set yourselves up.
Shift from whatever you were doing before your Sex Practice started, and consciously set down anything you might have to do afterward.
Invite intimate, sexual, lover pieces of you to come forward and be present.
Set down parent, worker, provider, domestic parts of you energetically outside of the space or outside the door of the room.
Get comfortable.
Get more comfortable.
Gently invite a connection to yourself so you might authentically connect with your partner and show up to your relationship.
STEP 4: EXPLORE
After the two of you have shifted into your Sex Practice, and as partners and lovers are ready to engage one another and your relationship, begin by remembering what is most important to you around your romantic relationship.
Maybe you need love.
Perhaps you want safety.
Maybe you need connection.
Perhaps you want respect.
Maybe you need excitement.
Perhaps you want freedom.
Then you might notice which of these are the best use of your time together today:
Clarifying
Connecting
Communicating
Healing
Co-Creating Sexual intimacy
