More Around Orgasms

When I was pre-orgasmic, I explored so many things wanting to experience orgasm for the first time.

I felt more than broken; I felt like I didn't belong to the human population (enneagram 4).

Ohhhhhhh I read books. I went to six therapists. I watched videos. I bought vibrating toys.

It's when I read Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm that I was first introduced to the concept of a time container.

Have you ever kissed someone and experienced lightning?

Touched lips, entangled energies, and felt an electric pulse sweep through you to ignite your sensations…?

A friend has been sharing their experience with this, talking about what and how another person makes them feel when I said,

You are lightning.

May I share something with you?

For decades I looked for guidance to support me to experience climax for the first time.

Maybe for a decade, my partner at the time and I looked for guidance around how to improve our sex life.

Books and sex therapists and outdated VHS videos got me nowhere.

Sometimes I forget that I went 30-something years without ever experiencing orgasm.

Sometimes I forget I am a certified Tantric Sex Coach.

Sometimes I forget that we're here for the full-spectrum experience of being human.

I lay back down after turning over to see what time it is.

It's too early.

My eyes are too dry, too swollen, too tired to be awake right now.

And here I am.

I'm hoping I can be honest with you.

Last year I desired to start living more from the heart. 

I saw a coach about it. 

I did practices around it.

And mostly I left it alone...not knowing how to do it exactly.

I want to invite you into your first memories of masturbating.

Was it pleasurable?

Was it celebrated?

Was it liberating?